Mosquito Read online

  They got a African-American theater group at that community center too, she say, and ask me why I don’t try out for The Tale of Uthlakanyana. She had to write that Uthlakanyana down for me. Seem like I heard that name before, or somebody name that name? Tale of who? Uthlakanyana. Don’t sound like no African-American play to me. That kinda sound like that Eskimo, that Inuit language, don’t it? Or maybe that Africanized English. Say what? Tale of who? Uthlakanyana. Yeah, I do know me somebody that went over there to Africa and come back with that name. And ain’t know what it mean.

  I peeked my head in the door and seen these African Americans dressed up like Africans, but Africans in the New World. Ain’t real Africans. They own versions of Africa, African-Americanized Africans or some shit, but I guess that ain’t no different from the Europeans in the New World looking like they own versions of Europe and be European-Americanized Europeans and one woman in some of them New World African clothes she spy me and point to me and say, That’s Yo. We’ve found Yo. Least I think she say Yo, but I duck my head back out the door before she could grab me and try to put me in that play. I be telling y’all I’m a big woman, but that woman in that theater she be looking like a giant compared to me. And I be thinking of that nun pulling that little wayward boy by the ears, and be imagining her pulling me up onstage by the ears and calling me Yo. Now I know what that Yo mean in Spanish, but she saying it like it a name. And she one of them big African-American women, bigger than I am. But she got on these African clothes, like I said, and they makes her look more majestic than me in my sweatshirt. And she one of them Africanized African Americans. You know one of them real pretty African print skirts you tie around your waist and scarf she tie around her head but them Africans don’t call it a scarf matching that print skirt, but that blouse she wearing it look like a ordinary American blouse, though. And wearing some type of sandals kinda look like them guaraches of Maria. Maybe made out of that raffia fiber. I be saying them Africans they have they own type of guaraches; Delgadina she say they ain’t guaraches they huaraches or some shit. Delgadina she don’t know who Yo is neither, though, ’cept Yo she say in Spanish it mean I. But in Africa it must be some kinda name. And them young hip-hop people they got them they Yo. They be saying Yo, except I don’t think it the same Yo them Africans be talking about. ’Cept that Yo must be one of them universal languages.

  Delgadina she always going to them plays and she got a string of them novels behind that bar too. And ain’t them modern romances. She might read a paragraph or so from them novels here and there when she ain’t busy bartending. She likes them novels about people that does things. One’s about some kinda botanist in South America and she say she herself wanted to be a chemist in high school but the teachers steered her to the vocational track and not the college track. Well, you gotta be a little bit of a chemist to mix drinks for some of these suckers, she says. And I use chemistry in my container gardening. One of them novels about a cannery worker. She say she herself usedta work in a cannery, usedta can smolt, that young salmon.

  You remember that Susan Sarandon movie where she would rub lemons all over her arms. You know that movie Atlantic City? That’s me after working in that fishery.

  Delgadina she don’t usually like them working-class movies, though. She say it ain’t true, ’cause she be always taking me to them working-class plays. I don’t know what kind of stories that Delgadina write, though. I know she got a lot of them literary-type novels too. Them Henry James-type novels and intellectual-type novels and shit. And a lot of them Germans, that Mann and that Goethe. She say she dream one time she were that Goethe. She like all them Germans, I think, ’cause they supposed to be the most intellectual. The French is intellectual, but she say the Germans know how to combine intellect with a good story, and she don’t think the French tells good stories, least not them new novelist types, but I always thought that were supposed to be the point of them new novels, least from what Delgadina said another time about them French. She say once when she was in high school she wrote a story about a Chicano descriptive geometrist—I think they call them geometrists, don’t they?—and all the people did when she read it was laugh. ’Cause, you know, she being a Chicana and a woman, and like she ain’t supposed to write stories about no descriptive geometrists and only them Europeans is. Even the Chicanos in the class laughed, ’cause they themselves ain’t supposed to write no stories about no descriptive geometrists. And even have me dreaming I’m a descriptive geometrist and working them theorems. I ain’t know what they mean outside the dream, but inside the dream they’s freedom to me. Inside that dream, working them theorems is what I gots to do.

  Delgadina, though, she say she stopped writing stories for a long time after that, but she think just ’cause she a Chicana don’t mean she just gotta write them working class-type stories, ’cause they’s got Chicano intellectuals and academics too. And I be wondering whether they be laughing at a book about a African-American descriptive geometrist and be saying that ain’t realism.

  What’s smolt?

  You know, that young salmon. The fishermen catch it when it’s migrating. Young salmon when it’s migrating from the fresh water to the sea. Supposed to be a real delicacy or some shit. I never tasted it myself. I canned it, but I never tasted it. I like salmon, though. I mighta had some smolt, just didn’t know it was smolt.

  And she got a book called The Adventures of Monkey. When she be reading that, I think she be signifying again, but it a Chinese novel of maybe the sixteenth century or something like that. ’Cause she ain’t just read them modern novels. It about some intelligent and magical monkey. And then she got her a copy of The Arabian Nights. I thought it supposed to be a children’s book, but she say anybody that want to can read it, like Don Quijote. She say her creative writing teacher recommended it ’cause it done influenced everybody from Chaucer to Cervantes. She say a lot of that humorous and fantasy-type adventures and shit in that Don Quijote book is on account of being influenced by the Moors in Spain. That Don Quijote book I thought that was a children’s book too, but she say it ain’t. And then she tease me about being her Panza, and be saying she always wonder what that Don Quijote be like if Sancho Panza wrote that book. ’Cept ain’t even Don Quijote wrote that book, so how could Sancho Panza write it? I asks.

  Naw, that’s everybody’s book, she be saying.

  It that Susan Sarandon movie, though, make her wanna study acting, ’cause when we come outta that movie she be saying, I kinda look like her, don’t I? Except she be saying there ain’t no good roles for Chicana womens in them movies, except some seductress. But she say that there ain’t good roles for Chicana womens in a lot of them Chicano mens plays either, say Chicana womens they be having to write they own plays. She be saying how mens is always telling womens they don’t like the mens in women’s book, but then it’s okay if the womens don’t like the womens in they books. ’Cause I ain’t seen no womens in a man’s book I liked myself, ’cept I still likes the men’s books. Well, I ain’t say that. ’Cause I do likes that Miss Jane. But I’m still wondering how come her know all that social history in that book? ’Cause I’m thinking I be writing me a book and ain’t no social history at all in it. But then everybody ain’t Miss Jane. Thinking about that poem now. Look at that gal shake that thang / We cain’t all be Miss Jane. Course that ain’t what that poem say. That’s just my version of that poem. And it don’t rhyme.

  Then she be talking about that Denise Chavez and some of them other Chicana women playwrights. There’s a whole lot of Chicana women playwrights that I ain’t heard of. But she ain’t write no plays herself, though, just them stories. I kinda look like that Susan Sarandon, don’t I? she be saying, but then I learn she be saying that about every movie star. Sean Young. I kinda look like her, don’t I? Then she say the name of another actress. I kinda look like her, don’t I? Then she say the name of another actress. I kinda look like her, don’t I? I ain’t going to say the names of them actresses myself, ’cause y’a
ll think she a fool, ’cause them actresses don’t even look like each other. They’s all gringa actresses, though. ’Cause they’s got all the world’s peoples identifying with them in they movies. Movies supposed to be the biggest American export, movies and entertainment. I even likes them movie stars myself. Them Italians, though. Them others that reminds me of them Italians. Or them that plays Italians. Y’all can name almost any Italian actor or actress, though mostly the actors, and put them on my list of favorite actors and actresses. She be even thinking she look like that Kim Basinger, though, except for that blond hair. And probably the truth is she do kinda look like all of them. Like I say, them Mexicans they’s the cosmic race. The first time Delgadina say cosmic race I think she say comic race. And I be telling her the Mexicans they ain’t no more comic race than any other race. And she say cosmic race. Only person she don’t say she kinda look like is when we go see one of them Whoopi Goldberg movie. But the truth is, she kinda look like that Whoopi Goldberg too, except she more yam-colored than that Whoopi. ’Cept for them yams in Africa. I don’t know what them yams in Africa look like. Maybe them African yams looks like that Whoopi.

  You still thinking ’bout that detective school? I asks to direct her from talking ’bout that romance. I be thinking about that Don Quijote, Denise Chavez, Italian movie stars, and the cosmic race and she still talking about that romance. Still saying I wants him to keep romancing me. She leans her elbows on the bar and looks up at that disco globe. She got kinda ashy elbows, but the rest of her is buttery. I be telling her about aloe for them elbows, then remember she the one told me ’bout that aloe.

  Yeah, I’m thinking about it, she say about that detective school. They give me one of those personality profiles, you know, and say I got the personality for it. To be a private investigator. Yeah, they say I got the talent for it. I enjoy my creative writing class, though, but it ain’t practical, you know. I don’t think there’s many publishers that’s interested in Chicana literature. Course I could publish myself, found my own little Chicana publishing companies.

  Why it gotta be little? I ask.

  You right. I’m thinking as us as a minority, you know. But why you got to have minority ideas? You right. But now I’m thinking about that private investigating though. You gotta have something practical. Even that little brochure you give me. If some of those people had them a private investigator. . . .

  Yeah, I says, and grabs another one of them pretzels. I’m thinking of that metaphor of peeing on people’s head and telling them it’s rain again.

  And then she start ribbing me about that romance again. Ain’t nothing as impractical as romance, she say. And then she jot her own line down.

  Anyhow, I tells that priest my name and we shakes hands and he says that the Carmelite nun already told him about me. I spent so much time telling y’all about Delgadina, y’all probably forgot about that priest. But that’s the way true stories is. I want to ask him whether he a Jesuit or a Benedictine or one of them Franciscans or do they have Carmelite priests and he keep talking and he ask me what he can do to help me and what it is I wants to know about the Sanctuary movement. Of course he talk real proper. He ain’t real soft-spoken, not that kinda proper, he got a forceful, aggressive-type voice, but he got him one of them proper types of vocabularies. If y’all’s from the South y’all knows what I means by proper, and his office it surrounded by all kinds of them theology books and stuff. He sounds like a man of education, although in the South you can be a man of education and ain’t talk proper. Ain’t got more books than Delgadina, but they’s a different type of books, and look more like them ancient-type books. I know Delgadina read some of them sixteenth century novels, but they’s printed by modern presses. But these looks like they’s even printed back in the sixteenth century theyselves. He got a smaller office than that Carmelite nun, so I can read some of them titles, but a lot of them’s in Latin. ’Cept there’s a few modern books.

  What can I tell you about the Sanctuary movement? he asks. And he behave about his mustache like that Carmelite nun behave about her wimple; he pull on it like he straightening it, or so I’ll know it a real mustache.

  I ain’t sure how much to tell him ’bout that woman that hiding in the back of my truck, but I knows that she can’t have her baby in the back of that truck and her belly pretty big. I’ve heard a lots of Mexican womens come across the border just when they’s ready to have they babies so’s they can have they babies in the USA and make them legal and get all the advantages of being a legal citizen, ’cause a lot of them immigration people they be talking about changing that law, especially in them border states, and I’m thinking that’s how come her swim the Rio Grande pregnant. That’s the way them people do; when they don’t like some law, they changes it. There’s moral laws that people can’t change, but them other laws is changeable. And there’s even them that tries to change them moral laws, or puts them in a different context. But ain’t the law always them that controls the law? And Delgadina she say that too, and she tell me how she have a complaint against some gringo and they ain’t even take the complaint, and then they be telling her their statistics and then we be listening to something on the television and they be telling their statistics and she say bullshit.

  And this man be saying. Well, does that mean because they’re more complaints against minority policemen that minority policemen are not as good policemen?

  That’s not the point I’m making, the point I’m making is that there are the same amount of complaints against the nonminority policemen, except for the nonminority policemen they handle it informally, not officially, you know administratively, whereas with the minority policemen they handle it formally. You know with the nonminority policemen they feel more comfortable handling it informally.

  Do you hear that bullshitter? Delgadina is saying. That’s what I’m telling you about statistics. When I had that complaint against that gringo, they wouldn’t even take my complaint. So that bastard don’t even get on the books. Informally, my ass. Then the son-of-bitches’ll read you their statistics and make you think you’re a criminal people. You ain’t a criminal people. They just don’t tell you the truth. And don’t tell themselves the truth either. And bastards like them are off the books, handled informally, you know. ’Cause they’re more comfortable handling each other informally. Like that cop show we saw. Gringos and all that drug paraphernalia. Well, that cop treats them like they’re just pranksters. Informally. If they was vatos . . . That gringo, they wouldn’t even take my complaint. . . .

  What gringo? I’m asking.

  And she ain’t tell me.

  What gringo? Every gringo. ’Cept maybe Miguelita. But even she knows how to play the gringa.

  Course she ain’t literally swim the Rio Grande or the Rio Bravo ’cause that part of Texas you can cross the border walking. Anyway, I think if the baby legal that mean she legal too, but I don’t know them immigration laws. I think it just make the baby legal.

  You in the Sanctuary movement? I asks.

  He don’t say whether he is or he ain’t. They’s a reddish tint to his brown complexion. Actually he one of them type of men of color—not light-skinned—but can be almost any type of man of color he tell you he is. Like a lot of them mens in Brazil. And I even seen Africans his complexion, especially from that Cape Verde off the coast of Africa, which surprise me as much as when I seen my first Hawaiian his complexion. I guess some of them Cape Verde Africans that color, though, on account of them Portuguese. Just like them Brazilians. But they’s still natural Africans.

  But I can tell you what you want to know about it, he say. Why are you interested in the Sanctuary movement?

  I ain’t interested in it myself per se, I says, but I knows somebody what is. I would prefer not to be here inquiring about the Sanctuary movement, ’cause I got some industrial detergents I’m transporting and I gots to have them at the warehouse. But I’m a truck driver and I . . .

  He sits up straight and narrows his
eyes at me and straightens that priestly collar and then he straighten his mustache again. He be straightening his collar and his mustache, just like that nun with her wimple, ’cept he a manly priest. I’m thinking about being in that restaurant-cantina again and them people’s clearing out when I come in with that fool. Now why I say fool? Just ’cause us ain’t dating no more don’t make him no fool. Just ’cause he ain’t think I’m ambitious enough—even with the bitch in it—don’t make him no fool. Just ’cause he don’t want me to be driving no truck don’t make him no fool. Plus, he ain’t that much a fool, ’cause a lot of them little mens they ain’t secure enough to be dating no big womens in the first place. So why I say fool? When I seen him again in one of them shopping malls in Texas City he have with him one of them little bitty womens, though, shorter than him and a decade younger than him, maybe a secretary or schoolteacher or some shit. I think he be pretending like he don’t know me, but he say, How you, Nadine? But he don’t introduce me to the girl, though she looking at me like one of them koala bears, but I guess she figure we ain’t old lovers or nothing ’cause I don’t look like his type and since I’m wearing my brogans which make me look even taller than I naturally am. Maybe she figure I’m one of them peoples he met while he doing them social psychiatry surveys, you know, ’cause I guess them social psychiatrists got to study individual peoples too, ’cause it individual peoples that makes up societies.